Turning the lock

I’ve become something I am not

An identity unknown

A shadow in a mirror

The dull silence of a blank expression haunts my reflection.


When I met you I was charming,

I was sweet,

I loved life,

Possibilities were endless, I knew who I was.


I’m clinging onto an idea of self awareness and understanding,

The truth being I’m lost and each second that passes pushes me further away from myself,

Time is fractured, bent, those seconds that pass now last a life time,

The grey realisation of you feels like the answer.


I blame you,

I scream at you,

I want it to be you who did this,

I want you to be held accountable for this stranger I am,


There’s no resolution,

Those questions I ask myself never get answered,

The fear of walking away strangles me,

It’s not you, it’s me. I hold the key, but never turn the lock.